SKINK: NO SURRENDER – A Review

The price with being consistently good is the raising of expectations. Carl Hiassen has written 22 excellent novels since 1981, so at some point he had to write a novel that doesn’t meet his usual high bar. Skink: No Surrender is that book. With a plot that moves at the pace of a molasses glacier, and with main characters that make one dumb decision after the other, it was a Herculean chore to turn the pages.

Hias_9780375870514_jkt_all_r1.inddThe basic story: Fourteen-year old Malley is being sent away to a boarding school in the cold climes of the Northeast, away from her home in sunny Florida. And since Malley “doesn’t do” cold weather, she decides to run away with a guy she meets online. Disappears without a trace. Her best friend, her cousin Richard, decides to track her down. However, he is also only 14, so where does he even begin?

Enter Skink, one of Hiassen’s greatest fictional characters. The eccentric (a mild description) 72 year former governor of Florida turned eco-warrior, first appeared in 1987’s Double Whammy (and five other Hiassen novels). Richard runs across Skink on the beach, who agrees to help Richard track down Malley.

The worst thing about Skink: No Surrender, other than its tepid pace, is that in writing for a teen crowd, Hiassen decided to replace his typical sharp and wacky humor with a dumbed-down hipster, all-too-cool attitude – think the worst of modern day SNL or the glut of humorless Hollywood “comedy” films featuring Will Farrell-Melissa McCarthy-Adam Sandler, et all.  

It’s also a crime what Hiassen has done to the character of Skink. In Hiassen’s adult novels Skink is a complex, charismatic and fascinating character, always the most interesting person in each scene.  However, in the new teen book, Skink has been watered down so much, he feels like a character in an Adam Sandler movie – a shallow caricature.

There is also an uncomfortable subtle message that underlays the entire book. The stranger Malley met online is a scuzzy lunatic bad guy, but the stranger Richard meets on the beach, Skink, is a scuzzy lunatic good guy. So is Hiassen saying that it’s bad for a female kid to run away with a stranger, but okay for a male kid to do so?

Avoid this book, and read Hiassen’s other novels, in particular the five novels that feature Skink – Double Whammy, Native Tongue, Stormy Weather, Sick Puppy, Skinny Dip and Star Island.  

2 palmettos

Rocks: My Life In and Out of Aerosmith: A Review

jp-1-editAll-in-all, a well done autobiography of Joe Perry. Gives you a pretty good behind-the-scenes of the formation of Aerosmith and it’s career, ups and downs.

As is almost the case of these books, it’s more about the personal life of Perry with not enough emphasis on the music-making process. The main drawback of these bios is the tediousness of the the drug addiction stories. At this point, we’ve read enough and heard enough about famous musicians’ demons, that, although, it is part of the story, it’s the most uninteresting part. Being told and illustrated that Steven Tyler is a self-centered douch-bag is also not breaking news.

However, the book is filled with dozens of great stories and nuggets that more than make the book worth reading. The revelation of the Lynyrd Skynyrd plane story was worth the entire book! 

4 palmettos

Great Mischief: A Review

Great Mischief is a perfectly creepy little book that unfortunately is out of print. I had to buy it used on Amazon.

great_mischief_a_novel_by_josephine_pinckney_book_of_the_month_1948_28ac2b2eThe year is 1895, and much of sleepy little Charleston is still lit by gas. Timothy Partridge operates a rundown apothecary shop, where things have’t really changed much since the glory days of Romeo and Juliet; drugs are still hanging from nails on the walls, such as bat wings, hummingbird feathers and strange, fiery potions. Timothy is supporting his shrewish sister Penelope and has a roguish best friend, the drunken doctor Golightly, who is always encouraging Tim to live a little, stop being such a fussbudget, One creepy stormy evening a young woman enters, dashing into the shop in an urgent, insistent plea for some solanum. Tim knows instantly there’s something “off” about the girl, but he has no idea that she’s actually a witch from hell, who will intertwine herself to his life and change it–forever.

Josephine Pinckney was a novelist and poet and part of the literary revival of the American South after World War I. Her first best-selling novel was the social comedy,Three O’clock Dinner (1945).She was born in Charleston on January 25, 1895 to Thomas Pinkney and Camilla Scott. She attended Ashley Hall School and established a literary magazine there, graduating in 1912. She then attended the College of Charleston, Radcliffe College, and Columbia University, and held an honorary degree from the College of Charleston, given 1935. She received the Southern Authors Award in 1946.

Josephine Pinckney

Josephine Pinckney

As a poet, novelist, and essayist, Pinckney was an active participant in the “Charleston Renaissance.” In 1920, she co-founded the Poetry Society of South Carolina. She was involved in institutions such as the Charleston Museum and Dock Street Theatre and was an early proponent of the historic preservation of Charleston. She was an active member of the Society for the Preservation of Spirituals, which transcribed and annotated African American songs. 

She died October 4, 1957, and is buried in Magnolia Cemetery.

A Review: FIRST FROST by Sarah Addison Allen

Sarah Addison Allen has written six quirky small town Southern novels that mix gentle realism with magical fantasy. First Frost is a sequel to her first book, Garden Spells, a charming novel that set her template. Allen’s books are a winning fluffy concoction which usually include:

  • a small Southern town
  • a couple of disjointed female characters with tragedy in the past
  • a supporting cast of quirky characters, some of whom see to possess otherworldly abilities

first frostIn Allen’s two most recent novels, The Peach Keeper and Lost Lake, that formula was beginning to feel a bit worn. Neither of those books had the freshness and the storylines felt forces. With First Frost, Allen returns to form a bit, mainly because it is a revisit to the fertile ground where the template was established – the Waverly sisters.

Claire Waverley has started a successful new venture, Waverley’s Candies.  Though her handcrafted confections are singularly effective, the business of selling them is costing her the everyday joys of her family, and her belief in her own precious gifts. Her sister Sydney is losing her balance also. With each passing day she longs more for a new baby Yet the longer she tries, the more her desire becomes an unquenchable thirst, stealing the pleasure out of the life she already has.

Sydney’s teenaged daughter, Bay, has lost her heart to the boy she knows it belongs to…if only he could see it, too. But how can he, when he is so far outside her grasp that he appears to her as little more than a puff of smoke?

When a mysterious stranger shows up and challenges the very heart of their family, each of them must make choices they have never confronted before.  And through it all, the Waverley sisters must search for a way to hold their family together through their troublesome season of change.

Although Allen’s fiction is often called “fluffy”, “enchanting” and “charming,” creating such lightweight concoctions is harder than it looks, an art within itself. And as charming as her books are, I keep hoping that Allen at some point moves away from this template. I’m sure her publisher is clamoring for more and more of the same because publishers have become infected with a Hollywood mentality – they only want what has sold before.

Allen, however, has a real gift of developing characters and situations. She can become an American version of Maeve Binchy … yes, she has that sort of talent. Here’s hoping that Allen at some point will move past her current template and into meatier (pun intended) and more involved stories. I, for one, will be anxious to read them.

4 palmettos

A Review: “Charleston” by Margaret Bradham Thornton

charleston coverWow. How do novels this bad get published by a professional publishing house? Oh, never mind, I forgot about James Patterson. As a Charleston resident, I try to read as many novels that take place in my home town as I can. This is one of the worst.

Charleston is another in the seemingly endless line of novels written by upper-class middle-aged white women with three names who claim Charleston as their heritage. The book’s major flaw is the pervasive air of pretention that oozes from each page. There are endless pages of name-dropping of old Charleston names, clothes, furniture and antiques, which have nothing to do with the story, except that you begin to realize everyone in this neighborhood is most likely kin to each other.

The book also never makes clear what time period in which it takes place. We can assume it is not in the 21st century, since none of the characters have cell phones or computers. But of course, since every character in the book is “old Charleston” and lives South of Broad Street, social pressure may not allow them to possess modern technology. I’m guessing it is set in the recent past (the 1990s, maybe.)  

The plot (and I am stretching here to attach that description to it) is that Eliza returns home to Charleston after being away for many years (stop me if you’ve heard this one before) and rekindles a relationship with a former boyfriend, Henry. Henry is publisher of the local paper and divides his time between three houses in the area (just to let you know he comes from “old money.”) There are also some bewildering sub-plots about paintings and slave pottery, which require Eliza to visit library archives and museums. We get to listen to her have discussions over tea about painting techniques (yawn.)

Oh, I almost forgot, Eliza’s love, Henry, has a son from a previous marriage which he has raised by himself (making him a sensitive modern man) after the wife abandoned them. Then, the ex-wife shows up! And she suddenly wants to be involved in the kid’s life … well, never mind. It’s awful. It was also about this time in the book that I got the sneaking suspicion that Henry and Eliza might actually be kin to each other.

The book comes to such a screeching stop (to call it a conclusion would be inaccurate), and with a plot twist so jarring, that one has to assume the author got tired of writing about these people and finished it as quickly as possible. I don’t blame her.

At least one third of the novel consists of Eliza strolling the streets of Charleston, name dropping people and houses, and historical tidbits. Problem is: the author gets so much of the factual and geographical details of the city wrong that it is beyond comical.

First of all you cannot turn onto Church Street from South Battery (it’s one way – in the other direction).

The author mentions two episodes of horse-drawn carriages driving down the street in the neighborhood South of Broad. Each time the author goes out of her way to point out the time of day (both well after 6:00 p.m.) Since the author is part of “old Charleston” she certainly must know that tours are not allowed on those streets after 6:00 p.m. If she wanted to reflect “real” Charleston, she would have written a scene where the locals call the police and try to have the tour guide arrested for giving illegal tours. In another scene she describes the carriage driver’s uniform and then says “the tour guide slapped the reins on the double team of draft horses.” Sorry, the carriage company she described, only uses single draft animals.  

In one embarrassing chapter, the author has Eliza walk down Church Street and point out houses and details. On the walk she mentions the George Everleigh House, where Francis Marion jumped from the second floor (wrong house; its five blocks over on Tradd Street). She then mentions the Nathaniel Russell House and spends several paragraphs describing the architecture (again, the author has conveniently moved the house three blocks from its actual location on Meeting Street).

Eliza later finds herself at the corner of Archdale and Chisholm Streets (doesn’t exist – Chisholm is 10 blocks away) and mentions the two churches on Archdale – St. Luke’s Lutheran and St. John’s Unitarian (I will pause as local Charlestonians finish laughing.) The two churches are actually St. John’s Lutheran and the Unitarian Church of Charleston.

Charleston is amateurish and worst of all, boring, the greatest sin a piece of fiction can suffer. This past year I have read dozens of self-published 99 cents Amazon books that are more professional and entertaining than Charleston

1 palmetto

A Review: The Big Finish by James W. Hall

big finishThis is the fourteenth (and the last, according to author Hall) of the series featuring Thorn, a moody, volatile loner type living in the Florida Keys, sparsely subsisting on the income he makes from tying fishing flies. To say Thorn finds trouble without looking for it is like saying Lady GaGa attracts bad clothes just walking down the street.  A list of the Thorne books in order.

The first half dozen Thorn novels are outstanding examples in the sub genre which we now call “Florida crime fiction” – whose most notable practitioners are John D. MacDonald, Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen.   Rich in atmosphere, and populated with greedy developers, drug dealers, hookers, crusty old salts, and various other assorted lowlifes, every Thorn novel is a  mini-vacation to south Florida. 

One of the strengths of the books is that author Hall allowed Thorn to age; he’s not as tough as he used to be and the world is changing around him at a bewildering rate which he is loathe to keep pace with. But as the series moved toward books #10 and onward, the books began to feel slightly half-hearted.

This time around the (more than usual) convoluted plot concerns eco-terrorists, Thorn’s son (who he has only realized he had) and an unbelievable former FBI agent villain so inept it’s no wonder she didn’t remain a Federal agent. The only character who stands out is an ex-con enforcer named X-88 whose sense of smell is otherworldly and whose ruminations about death and his medical condition are (by far) the entertaining parts of the story.

Sadly, The Big Finish is anything but … It is a weak ending for a great series of novels that should be read by anyone who enjoys modern crime fiction. I highly recommend you go start with the first Thorn book, Under Cover of Daylight and keep going through the rest of the books, but I warn you, the big finish is  disappointing and tiny. Maybe because Mr. Hall had raised readers expectations with so many great books before …

3 palmettos

 

Ready: Player One: A Review

I’m less impressed with this novel than the author is with himself. As dazzling as the story can be, (and it has a few genuinely great moments) it ultimately collapses in on itself. The never-ending onslaught of 1980s pop culture minutia and namechecking, reduces the entire novel to a level of superficiality of a Knight Rider episode. The characters are as flat and two-dimensional as PacMan.

ready player oneBasic story: 

Ready Player One takes place in the not-so-distant future. The world has become a very bleak place, but luckily there is OASIS, a virtual reality world that has grown into an online utopia. People plug into OASIS to play, go to school, earn money, and even meet other people – or at least their avatars.  For Wade Watts it certainly beats passing the time in his grim, poverty-stricken real life. Along with millions of other world-wide citizens, Wade dreams of finding three keys left behind by James Halliday, the now-deceased creator of OASIS and the richest man to have ever lived. Halliday grew up in the golden age of the 1980s in the United States, and OASIS is an extreme (and fully enveloping) immersion in that decade, movies, music and most of all … video games.

The keys are rumored to be hidden inside OASIS, and whoever finds them will inherit Halliday’s fortune. But Halliday has not made it easy – he has created real life dangers in his virtual world. All across the globe, players are exploring OASIS looking for the keys and suddenly one day, Wade discovers one and the international race is on! Wade, with the help of several other on-line avatars, challenge Halliday’s games, puzzles, and contests, with clues drenched in full tilt 80s nostalgia.

I was not an 80s gamer kid (I grew up in the previous decade) so for me, a lot of this name-checking various geek/fanboy bits of 80s culture quickly became an irritating distraction of a fairly ingenious story. I got the impression that author Ernest Cline is that guy at a party who spends the entire evening trying to impress everyone by talking about and quoting endlessly every single song/movie/tv show/videogame he’s ever enjoyed. At some point you just want him to shut up!

Spoiler Alert!

So finally, after 380 pages of being bombarded with more Journey and Rush lyrics that I needed to hear, or bad 80s movies I never wanted to watch again, or detailed descriptions of obscure video games I never played (or even heard of), we get to the conclusion. James Halliday’s avatar is waiting in the room which holds the last key – the key to his vast fortune. His avatar then lectures the winning player (come on, you think I was gonna tell you the winner!) and his advice is … (wait for it)spend more time outside and less time playing video games!

WOW. The only reason I didn’t throw the book across the room is because I read it on my Kindle and I didn’t want to break it.

3 palmettos

Thank You, Dr. Wilson!

Last week, with mixed emotions, I finished reading  Fear City, the last  Repairman Jack novel. (*sigh*)

It has been a journey of thrills, kills, chills and ultimately, just plain fun! The Jack series is more than genre-bending, it is all-inclusive – incorporating elements of horror, thriller, crime, sci-fi, international conspiracies (Dan Brown is an amateur!) and mysticism.  It is, by any standard, one of the most audacious, and entertaining, fiction series ever composed. For those of you who don’t know Jack,( or F. Paul Wilson)  – SHAME ON YOU!

Fear_City_Final_sm

 I first discovered Wilson when I read his classic horror novel, The Keep, in 1981. The book was later turned into a truly awful movie several years later – avoid! Then, in 1984, I read The Tomb, which introduced us to one of the coolest, baddest and most complex action heroes ever created, Repairman Jack. Jack is part Travis McGee, part Rambo, part Indiana Jones and pure entertainment. He is a mercenary who  “lives off the grid” and “repairs” situations for people who hire him, often through violence, but just as often through clever scams. Some of Jack’s adventures have a mystical, supernatural element in them, but mostly, they are pure adventure. If you are looking for a great beach book look no further than The Tomb. And then you’ll have about 20 more Jack books to get you through the rest of the year. 

CLICK HERE to see a list of Wilson’s novels.

Unfortunately, for the next fourteen years, Wilson did not write another Jack novel, even though he continued to write some of the best contemporary fiction of the 80s and 90s – medical thrillers, horror novels and science fiction. In the early 90s he published three connected novels titled Reborn, Reprisal and Nightworld. In those books, the evil entity called Rasalom, supposedly destroyed in The Keep, manages to have its essence stored as the soul of a cloned human, Jim Stevens. When Jim marries and has a child, Rasalom transfers its essence into the soul of Jim’s son, who is born preternaturally aware and feeds off human misery and fear. Rasalom has been reborn! The last book, Nightworld, is literally the end of the world, as Rasalom transforms earth into a world of a perpetual hellish night. Wilson himself has claimed that he will never write another novel that takes place after Nightworld, since in his fictional universe, nothing exists after that timeline.

Original editions of The Adversary Cycle

In 1998, Wilson finally published Legacies, a second full blown Repairman Jack novel. And he kept writing them, fifteen in all. He also managed to crank out three Repairman Jack Young Adult novels, letting us meet Jack as an adolescent, learning how and why Jack the kid developed into Jack the adult and finally Repairman Jack.  And with each subsequent book, the story of Rasalom’s emergence in the world creeps into Jack’s world. Which led us to a new edition of Nightworld  in 2012, completely rewritten to incorporate the entire Jack storyline. The conclusion of Jack’s story in Nightworld was mind-boggling, epic, bittersweet, and completely appropriate …  not the end of the world, just the end of the world as we know it, with Jack and his partner Gia facing a new, devastated and transformed world. 

But after Nightworld, Wilson (thankfully) decided he was not finished with Jack. He agreed to write three more novels, a series called Repairman Jack: The Early Years, which covers Jack’s first years in NYC, his initial adventures with the underworld, illegal cigarette smuggling and nasty Muslim terrorists. We also learn how Jack became “Repairman Jack.” 

Repairman Jack: The Early Years trilogy

Repairman Jack: The Early Years trilogy

So, thank you Dr. Wilson for making the reading of Fear City such a bittersweet experience, and thank you for creating such an amazing story and characterLONG LIVE JACK!

img_1196-fpaul-wilson

Time and Again: A Review (Essentials – Books)

Did illustrator Si Morley really step out of his 20th century New York City apartment one night – right into the winter of 1882?

The U.S. Government believed he did, especially when Si returned with a portfolio of brand-new sketches and tintype photos of a world that no longer existed … or did it?

Time-and-Again-Novel-Cover Simon Morley, an advertising sketch artist, is approached by U.S. Army Major Ruben Prien to participate in a secret government project. He is taken to a huge warehouse on the West Side of Manhattan, where he views what seem to be movie sets, with people acting on them. It seems this is a project to learn whether it is feasible to send people back into the past by what amounts to self-hypnosis—whether, by convincing oneself that one is in the past, not the present, one can make it so.

640px-The_Dakota_1880s

One of Sy Morley’s photos taken during his travel back in time to NYC of 1880.

Published in 1970, Time and Again is one of the greatest and most famous time travel books ever written, and deservedly so. Finney’s time travel premise is that if one gets into the “mindset” so to speak – wears the clothes, speaks the dialect, uses only those things that were available in 1882 in New York City, then the black hole will open up and transport one back to that time. Which is exactly what happened to Simon Morley as he sat and lived in his government rented apartment overlooking Central Park.

Indeed, Central Park itself is a major theme within this book, as it seems to be the clock around which New York City was able to judge its progress over the years. Simon Morley does have many adventures within the Manhattan of 1882, and as he rents lodging in lower Manhattan, he meets and falls in love. Thus Finney sets the scene for the conflict of love and time travel, forcing his protagonist to make a decision between different time periods.

Written with a charming magic of historical detail and illustrated with photos “taken by Morley” which are actually just historical photos of old New York. Highly recommended!

Companion Read: Replay by Ken Grimwood

Movies That Are BETTER Than The Books

It is one of the pitfalls that writers have had to endure since Edison perfected the motion picture camera – movies based on their books. Most of us agree that 99.2% of the time the film version of a novel is infinitely inferior to the book. Stephen King could write a book about bad adaptations … come to think of it, he probably will.

Dean Koontz’ Watchers is one of the most charming, thrilling and entertaining best-selling books of the past 30 years and was turned into an unwatchable and offensive film. Bicentennial Man was turned into another Robin Williams embarrassment, whereas Issac Asimov’s novella is a subtle and brilliant examination on the meaning of humanity.

But every once in a while, Hollywood takes a book and turns it into a masterpiece. Some are good books that benefited from a brilliant adaptation; others are pedestrian books that were actually improved by the filmmakers; and some are just bad and boring novels that someone somehow turned into a great move.

Here is a list of movies that are MOVIES BETTER THAN THE BOOKS. And it is surprisingly longer than you would think.

GOOD BOOK / GREAT MOVIE

CHOCOLAT by Joanne Harris
Chocolat_sheetThis 1999 novel explored the lure of temptation and alternated between sweet and sinister forces of humanity and nature. The movie stays close to the spirit of the story, but is much more positive and cheerful.

LAST OF THE MOCHICANS by James Fenimore Cooper

MohicansposterAs is most fiction from that time period (1826), Cooper is virtually unreadable these days, but writers and books from the 18th and 19th century seem to benefit from Hollywood treatments. The turgid prose and stilted dialogue can be glossed over with spectacular visuals. Every one who has seen this movie knows what a great, and emotionally involving, action film it is.

MARY POPPINS by B.L. Travers

marypoppins-book_114Come on, everyone loves Disney’s Mary Poppins. Julie Andrews is magical and Dick Van Dyke has never been better than as Bert – street artist, chimney sweep and good time guy. The movie was based a popular series of English children’s novels (1935-1988) and portrayed Poppins as more stern and with a darker side than the movie version.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST by Ken Kesey
one_flew_over_the_cuckoo_s_nest_by_blitzcadet-d5uyo1uThe 1962 novel by Ken Kesey is a stunning work that is well written and emotionally compelling. And then director Milos Forman turned it into one of the all time great movies. There are a few differences, the most apparent is the voice of the narrator in the book, but we need a character to anchor our thoughts in the novel, whereas Forman can show us the story that develops, and allows us to become the narrator. We all become just another nut in the nuthouse. Jack Nicholson’s performance is genuinely inspired and the cast that surrounds is like a who’s who of soon-to-be 80s stars.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION by Stephen King
shawshank

Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman

Based on the short novel “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Prison” from the book Different Seasons, this may be the best adaptation of Stephen King’s prose to cinema. While the story has its charms and contains all the elements of the plot, it is a mere shadow of the emotional depth and sheer grand story-telling that director and screen writer Frank Darabont manages to capture.

MEDIOCRE NOVEL / GREAT MOVIE

BEING THERE by Jerzey Kosinsky
being thereThe book is an ingenius portrayal of a mentally slow gardener named Chance whose only knowledge of the outside world comes from watching television. Through an series of circumstances, Chance becomes homeless and is left to his own devices to face the world. The book often reads flat and uninvolved, a technique of detached emotionless that makes sense (TV viewing results the deadening of senses and intellect ) but does not make it an enjoyable read. The film, however, as directed by Hal Ashby is a constant joy of subtle humor and ironic social commentary. Peter Sellers pulls off the role of his career with a brilliant and nuanced performance which ranks as one of the all time greatest. The fact that he did not win the Academy Award (Dustin Hoffman in Kramer vs. Kramer … and when’s the last time you had a discussion with anyone about that movie or that performance?) is a travesty. In fact, the film was not even nominated for Best Picture. (Kramer; All That Jazz; Apocalypse Now; Breaking Away and Norman Rae).

THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI by Pierre Boulle
The_Bridge_on_the_River_Kwai_poster

This is a terse novel written by a former French resistance fighter in WWII. It is difficult book to read – completely devoid of humor and few of the characters are developed enough to either hate or love. Yet in the hands of film maker David Lean it becomes an thrilling story of epic proportions dealing with racial prejudice and nationalism.

HIGH FIDELITY by Nick Hornby
high fidelity

Hornby may be the most successful mediocre novelist of the 21st century. Three of his books (and as of this writing a fourth, A Long Way Down is in production) have become movies: Fever Pitch, About A Boy and this novel about a record store owner and his driftless life after his girlfriend dumps him. The tends to be clunky, but the movie is an intense character study given vitality by an inspired quirky performance by John Cusack.

FRIED GREEN TOMATOES AT THE WHISTLE STOP CAFE by Fanny Flagg

fried greenFlagg, a comedian, actress and perennial game show guest (Match Game; Hollywood Squares) found a second career writing cheerful comedic Americana novels. But the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes takes the basic story and super charges it with great performances by Mary Stuart Masterson and Kathy Bates.

ORDINARY PEOPLE by Judith Guest

ordinary peopleThe novel is a chore to read, meandering with emotional passages filled ironic angst. The movie, as directed by Robert Redford, is a brooding study at the fractious nature of a family in crisis and emotionally satisfying.

RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow

ragtimeI recently tried to re-read this 1975 novel (first attempt had been while in high school in 1977 and was bewildered by the bad writing) and still found it boring and stylistic clunky. The fact that Time magazine listed it as one of the Greatest 100 English Language Novels Between 1923-2005 is more of an indictment about the lack imagination of Time’s editors than in your taste in books. Almost every book on the list is one of those boring academically approved books .. i.e. the books your college professor makes you read in college and which you never have the desire to read again. The movie, however, is devoid of Doctorow’s turgid writing and shines. Filled with great performance and emotionally charged.

HAROLD AND MAUDE by Calder Willingham

harold-and-maudeOne of the all-time great weird cult movies is based one of the all-time weird and unreadable books.

SOMEWHERE IN TIME (Bid Time Return by Richard Matheson)

somewhere in timeMatheson is one of those great writers of the 20th century whose books never make Time’s list of 100 Greatest Books because he is a popular writer of horror (gasp!) and sci-fi thrillers. Potboilers! The literati elite can’t have that! However, as many good books that Matheson has written, Bid Time Return is at the bottom of the list. It is a time-travel romance that never really seems to take off, and ultimately, becomes more annoying than anything else. The film, however, is a grand piece of movie-making, lush, romantic and satisfying.

PLANET OF THE APES by Pierre Boulle

planet-of-the-apes-classic-01Another short novel by French writer Boulle that became a classic Hollywood epic. I’ve tried to read Planet of the Apes (sometimes titled Monkey Planet) and found it bewildering. The story is told as a narrative found in a bottle which thankfully, the movie ignores that plot device. “Get your hands off me, you stinkin’ ape,” is one of the great quotable lines in cinematic history.

STARDUST by Neil Gaiman

Stardust (1)The novel is good, but a bit more dark and sinister … come on, we are talking about Neil Gaiman. The movie turned out to be a delightfully romantic and ironically hilarious fable. The movie is worth watching alone for Robert DeNiro’s enthusiastic campy turn as a lightning-gathering cross-dressing pirate.

THE SEARCHERS by Alan Le May

searchersA very typical Western novel in which a former Civil War soldier becomes driven to avenge the death of his family members by marauding Indians. But in the hands of director John Ford, and John Wayne who for once doesn’t play John Wayne and gives a deep and disturbing portrayal of a man who is close to being psychotic, this becomes an epic movie.

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT by James McMurtry

terms of endearmentA veeery middle-of-the-road novel by a good novelist is transformed into a 4 star drama / romantic comedy on the strength of all around great performances by Nicholson and Shirley McClaine.

PSYCHO by Robert Bloch

Psycho_(1960)Based on a real life story, Psycho was first published in 1959. Robert Bloch based the novel on the horrific Ed Gein, who was arrested in Plainfield, Wisconsin for murdering women and making furniture, silverware and even clothing out of body parts, in an attempt to make a “woman suit” to pretend to be his dead mother. Gein also was the inspiration for Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs. Bloch’s novel was nothing more than a pedestrian thriller turned into a film classic in 1960 by Alfred Hitchcock, THE classic horror film even though there is less than 60 seconds of screen violence.

BAD BOOK / GREAT MOVIE
THE BOURNE IDENTITY / THE BOURNE SUPREMACY / THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM by Robert Ludlum.

bourneHow these densely written and over-the-top plotted Cold War novels ever became popular is still a mystery. And the fact that they were turned into a James Bond style thrill-a-minute movie franchise is almost a miracle. Ignore the books, enjoy the movies.

COOL HAND LUKE by Donn Pearce 

cool hand lukeA book that truly is impossible to read was miraculously turned into one of the most iconic movies of the 1960s, and one of Paul Newman’s all time great screen characters.

DIE HARD (Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorpe)

Die_hardThe book is really bad. The main character is a sappy ex-cop has-been who spends the entire novel whining and pining over his now-dead ex-wife and worries about his daughter stuck in the building with him and the terrorists. Thanks to screenwriters Steven E. de Souza and Jeb Stuart and director John McTiernan for shutting him up, giving him more attitude and hiring Bruce Willis to play him. The result was a superior action film, smart and funny, as well as edge-of-your-seat exciting. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker, indeed.

DELIVERANCE by James Dickey

deliveranceDickey is one of the most over rated writers of the 20th century. Loved by literary critics and his peers (other college professors who write fiction and poetry) but ignored by everyone else, he even ruined his one great idea for a novel by trying to infuse it with a poetic sensibility that only illustrated the fact that he was a too good of a writer to just write a thriller. It was left to Hollywood to take away all the pretension and strip the story down to it’s most basic elements.

“You sure have a purty mouth,” is one of the most disturbing lines in cinematic history.

I’ve always wondered how good this novel would have been like if David Morrell had written it.

THE GODFATHER by Mario Puzo
The_Godfather_Wallpaper_by_ChellOKun

This may be the second worst written book ever to become a best-seller. We read the book in high school for the sex scenes … who can forget Sonny pushing Lucy up against the wall? But, as has been documented in abundance elsewhere, this is one of the all time classic movies.

THE GRADUATE by Charles Webb

the-graduate-poster-1o5nepbThe 1963 novel was, at best, barely readable, but somehow Mike Nichols, with his writing team Calder Willingham and Buck Henry took everything the novel had to offer, and expanded it to create one of the most iconic films of the 1960s. One reason the movie is better is one of the most perfect soundtracks ever, by Simon and Garfunkel.

THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER / PATRIOT GAMES / THE SUM OF ALL FEARS / CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER by Tom Clancy

red octoberLet’s be honest … Tom Clancy can’t write. Period. We keep a copy of Red Storm Rising next to the bed in case of insomnia. Two pages and your eyes are dropping.Clancy is a high-concept book packager where ideas are more important that creating characters and setting the mood. But they make fairly entertaining movies.

JAWS by Peter Benchley

jawsThis may be one of the worst written books ever to become a best-seller. Jaws was one of the first “high-concept” novels which now periodically hit the best seller list (every heard of The DaVinci Code?). But, a young Steven Spielberg turned the material into one of the most edge-of-the-seat movies ever. Roy Schneider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss are top notch.

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL by James Ellroy

la confidentialEllroy is an enigmatic figure. The real mystery is how his unreadable books keep getting published, and keep getting positive reviews. But, buried within all the turgid prose and literary devices (think of a hard-boiled Thomas Pynchon with none of the humor) someone in Hollywood saw a thrilling and brutal movie … and they were right.

A PLACE IN THE SUN by Theodore Dreiser

A_Place_in_the_Sun_(film)_posterDreiser is a literary darling and virtually impossible to read. However, the novel An American Tragedy, which is the basis for this movie, had all the plot elements needed for Hollywood to fashion a classic soap opera.