HOW TO WRITE A BESTSELLER.

Let’s see: Your previous novel sold more copies than Wilt Chamberlain had sexual partners. What do you do for an encore?

• Replace the Catholic Church with the Freemasons. Check!
• Replace DaVinci’s painting “The Last Supper” with the architecture of Washington, DC. Check!
• Keep the hero from your previous books, Robert Langdon. Check!
• Replace Silas (from The Da Vinci Code), who practiced corporal mortification, with Mal’akh, a tattooed, self-castrated and brilliant villain who is in search of an ancient source of power. Check!
• Toss in another brilliant (and gorgeous, of course) female character named Dr. Katherine Solomon. Check!
• Make sure the characters get to visit most of the major buildings in DC. Check!
• 5 million copies for a first run printing. Check!
• Start thinking about the next project … hmmm, the Boy Scouts have some shady things in their past, don’t they? Check!

Final thoughts: The Lost Symbol is bad, but not as bad as Pat Conroy’s South of Broad. No one expects Dan Brown to deliver good writing … Conroy however, we do. Beyond bad, beyond comprehension. Recommended if you’re into agony.

Companion Read: The Brotherhood of the Rose by David Morrell.